a bride’s perspective

So here we are, August 2021. Almost 18 months since COVID first hit Australia and almost 20 months since we got engaged. For someone who only wanted to be at the wedding planning stage for 9 months of their life, our current wedding planning journey has doubled in time and is still going.
If you sense fatigue in my opening paragraph to this post, that would be an accurate description to how I’m feeling about all of this.
Those that have read my first post about wedding planning back in July 2020 will know that we had to reschedule our original wedding date because the city we live in was in the middle of an extended lockdown. Since then, we have been living in and out of lockdowns, and the restrictions placed upon us all have been described as some of the toughest restrictions in the world.
Living in and out of lockdowns means we are forever on a rollercoaster with wedding planning. Some weeks seems super positive, and in fact earlier this year we saw restrictions lift to allow weddings of 300 guests. But now, we are plunged back into lockdown with a race towards mass vaccination. Our new wedding date is 4 weeks away. The anxiety is overwhelming.
Vendors have been extended, new vendors booked and cancelled, as we continue to update friends and family on what our plans are and how we’re feeling. We have dealt with teary parents, disappointed bridal party and groomsmen, sympathy from friends and extended family and even anger and frustration at the situation on our behalf (bless them!)
Mostly, I have dealt with the disappointment in myself for failing to make this event happen. It is a strange thought, I know, to feel responsible for making this happen especially in the COVID environment but for some reason that is the biggest weight I feel on my shoulders as the bride in all of this. I wonder if other brides who are wedding planning during COVID also feel the same.
Anyway, as the situation currently stands, we have progressed from planning for 142 guests to 135 guests, with reduced plans for an intimate wedding of 50 guests, 20 guests, 5 guests and no wedding on the actual day if full lockdown conditions persist. We call these Plans A1, A2, B, C, D and E. To prevent our wedding from becoming a potential super spreader event, we have disinvited majority of our guests until COVID is over and we can throw a big afterparty with everyone in a safe environment. Yes, until COVID is over. Whenever that may be. But certainly hoping it will be sooner rather than later.
Today is Sunday, and I took leave so I could have a long weekend at home to switch off from the world and write. As I listened to the wind outside, and felt the sunshine on my back, I realised that one day I will look back at this chapter and just see it as simply that, a chapter in our lives that we navigated through. Tough times don’t last forever, tough people do.
For now, we stay home, keep planning and hopefully get vaccinated before our big day.
xo
A